Monday, December 31, 2007 2:05 AM
One after another,
i don't understand
i can't understand
And i have no idea how to understand
Yes, i know i'm sensitive
And that's such a big setbackAnd i hate myself for thatCause someday, people might just get tired of meAnd i don't want that to happen.aku harap ini hanyaLAH sementara..Labels: high sensitivity
1:09 AM
I'm just plain tired today
New years coming
And i still haven't set my new resolutions
hmm, one thing for sure,
i'm going to have a new years haircut. hahaha.Labels: tired lah sey
Saturday, December 29, 2007 11:38 PM
it seems unfortunate to be in a world of your own. no doubt there's countless of hearts who care and the souls to mix around with. the moments to share with, and in times of need u have people whom u can rely to spend time with. friends come and go. but not for this soul. who is still searching for the meaning of true friendship and love.
because a moment of presence, means alot and hopefully be remembered till forever. cause in life you never know when's the next time you'll ever meet again. the world's small and inevitable which makes the presence comes so often. to have a beautiful friendship is what i yearn for.
nevertheless, not all things happen as sweet and everything will go the way one hopes to be. but it all vanishes without a smile and will still remain there, only unseen or pretended not to be seen. i need a source to ease the pain in my heart and a pinch of happiness in life. patience has been a mutual friend, the loyal one beside this empty heart.
now talk about love, couldnt it be less cruel than it is now? what hurts the most, is being so close, having so much to say, and what if one day i have to watch you walk away, and never knowing what could have been happening next.
well, i'm just
missing a best friend-whom now seems like just a normal friend to me
missing my family- which sadly have been treating me like *shit*
missing my cliques- whom i can hardly meet up with
missing the taste of glory- which my team had hardly achieved
and not forgetting, missing you
who is always in my heart. =)Labels: life is hard
Friday, December 28, 2007 9:26 PM
I feel like going far awayLife has been very very very hard for meEach day ending up with sorrows,And tears that will bring me to sleep Maybe I'm really that useless just like mum saidAnd that makes me a nobody in everyone's life.I realised I'm not the only one who loves you, there are many othersIs this a form of jealousy? I don't know.All I know is I love you very muchLabels: I feel a distance between us
Thursday, December 27, 2007 11:05 PM
Damn tired past few days,Reasons for not updating lately..Now, im feeling very very downInjuries all overFirst, my spineThen, i sprain my right toeLastly, i have a cut on my right thumbLike why is it happening now?Plus, i'm having a cold war with mumWhich frequently changes my mood negativelyI wanna lead a happy life. Can i?Please oh please, Let me live this life happily will you?Im soo glad I still have friends who cared.At least there's still joy in life.I believe life has ups and down and i'm soo waiting for the momentswhen it goes up as it have been very very down lately:(It's been days since i read your blog,It touched me when you said you cried tooAnd because of that, i will try my best to appear cheerful So that you will not have to cry with meI soo love you.Labels: i need a miracle
Monday, December 24, 2007 8:43 PM
If only i could change people's perception Cause they have been stereo typing like nobody businessMindsets are difficult to changeBut they are easily influencedI guess it's easier said than doneI will just let their mouth speakIt will shut when they overworkedThe world can be VERY deceiving at timesAnd it's hard to live in it.I know one day, I might just be left aloneWhen everyone's not talking to meLike there's some kind of barrierThen that's the time when i will remain silentI'm just trying to say thatThings are just unavoidableAnd they wont go 100 % as plannedSo even friends can be foesThus, i feel that a best friend is not a needIt's true friends that are essentialAnd they are what we are supposed to look forLabels: so be it
1:23 AM
Okay.. So basically, we had a mini birthday celebration for our dear shashaWe got all the plans ran like planned. maybe not all :( but yah..
- We headed for dinner at Fish and Co.
- Then went to the fountain of wealth to view the laser message.
- Had some hersey's cream pie
- Presented the card and gifts
- Headed home
Its a nice day though. hope you had a nice day dear.May this be your best birthday so farHere's some pics as memoirs
Birthday girl :)
The People =)
A snap with the birthday girl :D
Hopefully, it have been a nice day for you. Despite the flaws. Unfortunately, by me.
Labels: Fun
Sunday, December 23, 2007 1:25 AM
If you can vent your anger,Why can't i ?DAMN. you're just one immature player in and out the pitch laFor goodness sake.If there's thousands of you in the team.mampos sak.you ask me to instruct you and when you didn't do as i say,and i commented abt that, you got fuck up.Like WTH.Lain kali.. main ngan budak kecik jek,,ArGH!@$%#!*&^$@
Labels: damn you
Saturday, December 22, 2007 11:58 PM
A match with VJC in the morning
And the guys had a match with SP in the aftermoon
Both lost our matches.
Ours was worst.
Damn irritating match,
Watching the goals being conceded almost every minute
However, no ones to be blame :(
By the time i post this entry.
It would be 12 am already
And its 23rd December,
The special day for a friend whom i LOVE
Happy 18th Birthday Azhmeera Shasha Jan,
May you be blessed with great health and prosperity
Insya allah. =)
And yah, at last i took a photo with my beloved soccer pillow. The one which accompanied me to sleep each night. Hehe.
Labels: happy birthday awak
Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:19 PM
Its Aidiladha and as usual we will go to both of our grandma's house.
It's the first time i skip solat raya Not getting to see the poor kambings kena sembelih
I was too tired to wake up early in the morning and the weather was soo nice
It's calling me back to sleep.
We also went to Wak Man's new house which is still under renovation.
And accompanied Bibik to buy new bicycles for her daughter and herself.
It's been a great day getting together with family members,
Which i admit i have been neglecting.
Now, that's the purpose of Hari Raya..
So that families can get together =)
That's me and sister under wak man's block :)
Labels: Aidiladha
12:42 AM
First and foremost,
I would like to thank the people whom have spent the day with me today,
Captain Irna, Shasha and Aliff ( a new friend we made )
Meeting up early in the morning, and travelled all the way to Pasir Ris
And so, we stopped at a place called Escape Theme Park
We then entered it and enjoyed ourself..
Additional things that we did:
- Have lunch
- Play pool
- Playing with our toy pistols :)
To wrap it up, I would say..
It's a great day with great company
Thanks =)
Labels: outing
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 8:47 PM
Woke up early for physical training today
It doesn't seems like holidays at all for me
Waking up early and coming home late
On the other hand, it's great
As I could still meet up with my friends
Speaking of friends,
I miss my dearies.
The TPMS
Ask me out lah girls
I know I’ve been neglecting you ladies
But deep inside I do miss you people
Kite meet next outing ok. :)
LOVES <3
Labels: TPMS missed
Monday, December 17, 2007 11:45 PM
It's the first day of holiday and i'm still going to schoolCause i'm involve in RP's open house..Sounds interesting at the start..But indeed the both of us chose the wrong shiftThere's only the TWO of us in charge of the boothAdding to that, we are taking up the last shift for the open houseWhich means that...We have to clear the booth at the end of the day,and keep the equipments back to where it belongsSo sian rightAnd and, i watch the Capoeira IG performanceIt was cool and interestingand Khai look soo amusing dancing like a stupid guy. haha.Btw, awak nyer idea baik jugak eh..Time Irna kahwin kite perform capoeira rather than silat.. Yok, Yok :)Labels: RP's open house
Sunday, December 16, 2007 11:16 PM
Now...Liverpool lost to Man. utd 0-1However...I believed they will win their next gameAnd i'm still a die hard liverpool fan :)Btw, my dear friend have came back from her camp,And it's great to see her again today.Welcome back dear.And please have enough rest, I don't want you to get sick :)Labels: welcome back
1:47 AM
Today was another bland day,things just didn't go as plannedBut they turn out to be just fine in the endHad a fine chat with Capt. ,when both of us were aimlessly walking at MarinaThere's too much to discuss and think of That makes me feel that time flies too fastWe ended our conversation with a "will continue next time" and a smileThis shows how much we have to catch up in lifeAnd to you,
My hottest friend ever,
You are being missed.
Cause i just sniffed ur scent a moment ago =)Labels: missing you
Friday, December 14, 2007 11:22 PM
Having multiple choices confused meNot having any choices dissapoint meSo what do I actually want in life?I'm clueless myselfSometimes i feel i'm aloneNot having anyone to sharemy achievement, joy or even sorrowsFamilies are supposed to be the closest to youBut somehow, it just got distantHow would you feel having to return home Without anyone acknowledging youWanting to fill the empty stomachBut there's nothing availableIt might be the results of my commitments,Or maybe no one cares for me anymoreI guess i'm just thinking too muchI don't want to get deeply affectedBut somehow, i just did.I just need someone to be there for meTo guide me alongAnd show me that someone still caresAt least i know there's still a reason to live,And there' still an aim in lifeWhatever i'm committed to right nowmight just sound crappy to youBut i will assure you That somehow, i will make you proudSOMEDAY....you'll just have to waitLabels: family
Thursday, December 13, 2007 9:36 PM
Yesterday was a new experience, a rather fine one i guess.Meeting new individuals, knowing new personalities.A day which requires a decision to determine my path of lifeI guess choices are abundant, it's just how smart I choose them.Today was rather bland, went to school for the sake of UTSpending time to rest and regain my physical as well as mental power.My degree of intensivity has eventually dropped.How i wish i could sleep all day,Sad to say, it's quite impossiblei'm just soo burned outLabels: still tired
Tuesday, December 11, 2007 11:35 PM
As days goes by, I realised that companionship was never easy to get.Friendships are fragile,And even a slight mistake might ruin it all.That's why i treasure every single friend who are still with me nowCause i believe it's a great loss if any of them were to leave.And to you my dearest friend,please stick with me..through thick and thinand i promise i will stick with youtill the end of timecause i need a friend like you to overcome these obstacles of lifeso please be there, LOVESLabels: friendships
Monday, December 10, 2007 11:25 PM
If there's a time when you are wondering how i'm feeling,There will never be an answer to your questionCause I can't figure it out myselfIf only there are times when i can feel real safeI would freeze time and stay at that moment foreverCaused the insecured feeling have been haunting me lately"To prove someone wrong, you just have to be successful"How I wish its that easy,Like seriously..If only its that easy..Labels: monday blues
Saturday, December 8, 2007 4:37 PM
I have a fear,A fear for the truthThe truth that might just hurtThe truth that will take away my last hope for lifeI have my own reasons for my actionsReasons that some people just wouldn't understandReasons that might just change certain perceptionsAnd these reasons are the explainations which hold back my actionsIt feels good to have friends who caresBut having to leave them one day,Is saddening just to think of itI know i don't wanna leave just yetI have no more tears to let outThough my heart have been trembling real hardDue to fears and also thoughtsMy tears eventually just dried outThe day before ended up with sorrowsI just hope that it ain't going be the same tomorrow please, just not so soon..Labels: fear, truth
Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:56 PM
Some people just don’t understand how I live my life.But they still wanna interfere and keep asking offensive questions.What extra rights do they have?Why do they have to keep asking?Shit. Now it gets into my head again.And I just feel like sewing their mouth shut.Till it can’t be open again.
Terribly tremblingLabels: shit
Wednesday, December 5, 2007 11:06 PM
okay.. i know i've been telling myself that i don't wanna start blogging. cause i prefer to keep everything to myself. regardless of sorrows, joy or any kinds of events.
but there's something which i feel i should just let out. and here it goes..
life has been hard and how i wish i could enter heaven right away. people have been harsh. time has been running too fast. i couldn't catch up with its pace. thus, i was left behind.
i knew i needed to do something. something to save the situation. but luck and time wasn't by my side. i wish i could have super powers just like Hiro Nakamura so that i could freeze time. if only i was able to. then i could mend all the wrong things i have done. or even travel to the future to alter them to the preferred.
why must someone appear, bring happiness to you and then say that they have to leave. then what is there for you to say. stop them from leaving? or would you just hide your feelings? i'm clueless on how i should feel or react to this situation. but i just wish that whatever's happening now were just dreams. dreams which will go away the next day.
and in this very first post. i would like to apologise to the people which i have hurt, and to the people which i have not. *maybe in the future* And sorry for the things i said and the times where i just left. i would try my best to change and be the friend that you knew at the start. if only an apology could be that easy.
please be just dreams and
shoo away the very next day.
Labels: the beginning
